


Say It Enough And You'll Believe It (I'm Okay, I'm Fine)

by LittleMissAgrafina



Series: Here Be Tumblr Prompts [8]
Category: Iron Man (Movies), Marvel Cinematic Universe, Spider-Man (Tom Holland Movies)
Genre: Depression, Dissociation, Gen, Implied/Referenced Self-Harm, Irondad, Peter has a bad mental health day, Tony eventually helps him, Unhealthy Coping Mechanisms, spiderson
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-07-29
Updated: 2020-07-29
Packaged: 2021-03-06 02:48:18
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,242
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25696060
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/LittleMissAgrafina/pseuds/LittleMissAgrafina
Summary: "Peter."Messy curls tilted slightly towards him."You don’t seem like yourself tonight, Roo. What's going on?"Peter shook his head when he felt himself come back slightly at Tony's question. "I'm fine."Tony's heart ached.Waving a hand for FRIDAY to pause the TV, Tony turned on the couch to face his kid. He lifted a hand and cradled Peter's cheek."It's okay, you don't have to be fine all the time. I'm here."
Relationships: Peter Parker & Tony Stark
Series: Here Be Tumblr Prompts [8]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1823302
Comments: 7
Kudos: 177





	Say It Enough And You'll Believe It (I'm Okay, I'm Fine)

**Author's Note:**

> So, these last two sure have been happy, huh?  
> (Said entirely sarcastically cuz they really haven't)  
> Uhh... sorry. This one is a lot sadder than I expected but yeah. I have no idea if it's even coherent either.  
> Also, this is entirely unedited and hasn't been read over so all mistakes and typos are mine.
> 
> This is 20. “You don’t seem like yourself tonight.” requested by @theherothechampiontheinquisitor on Tumblr.
> 
> Now, I just want to give a TRIGGER WARNING for this one:  
> Implied/referenced self harm, depression, and dissociation. If those are triggering to you please don't read this.  
> Stay safe loves.

  
  
  


Peter felt weird, off kilter. He simultaneously felt like he was overwhelmingly aware of everything around him while still feeling as if he was stuck 5 seconds behind, watching the day go by but still conscious.

  
  


It was exhausting, and he didn't even know what had triggered it. Yeah, his anxiety and worries had been a lot higher lately with his school work but he was fine. Right?

  
  


He had to be. He couldn't put the weight of his stupid problems on May or his friends. It wasn't fair.

  
  


He had to be okay.

  
  
  


-

  
  
  


Peter woke up on Friday and he felt heavy. He felt heavy but it was paired with a disturbing restlessness.

  
  


Getting up, he hit the snooze on his alarm and didn't register when it went off again.

  
  


He was late getting ready so he skipped breakfast, thinking he could grab something on the way to school. Finally leaving the apartment, Peter got to the subway only to miss his train making him even later than he already was which meant no breakfast. 

  
  


It was okay though, Ned and MJ always brought him something in the morning because he had a tendency to run late.

  
  


It was fine, everything was fine.

  
  


He never noticed the hair tie he had subconsciously slipped over his wrist.

  
  
  


-

  
  
  


School was a blur, the piercing ringing of the bells and the hustle and bustle of students and staff merging together in an agonizing cocktail of noise.

  
  


The restlessness that had woken with him was building, swirling up inside of him and simmering just beneath his skin.

  
  


It wanted to be set free.

  
  


Snap and sting. It tempted him.

  
  


_No, stop. I'm okay, I'm fine._

  
  


_I have to be._

  
  
  


_-_

  
  
  


Peter let his mind drift until all of a sudden he was walking out of the penthouse elevator of the tower to see Tony standing near the doors.

  
  


"Hey, Mr. Stark!" He greeted, internally wincing at how flat his voice sounded but hoping that the older man didn't notice.

  
  


Preoccupied by his thoughts, Peter didn't see the slight frown that Tony was sporting deepen at the almost cloudy, detached look in Peter's eyes before it disappeared when Peter faced Tony. The billionaire shot his own greeting to the teenager.

  
  


"Hey, Pete." Tony said back, a soft smile hiding his concern. "How was your day?"

  
  


Peter shrugged in return, sliding his backpack off and walking down the hall to drop it off in his room. "It was okay." He called behind him to Tony. "What's for dinner?" He asked to change the subject.

  
  


Noticing the deflection, Tony decided not to push, instead choosing to keep a closer eye on the kid. Happy had sent him a text when he had dropped Peter off saying that there was something wrong with the usually bubbly teen but he didn't know what it was.

  
  


"I was thinking either take out or we can dig that lasagne we made the last time you were here out of the freezer. Either way, we have to make a salad for what we get. Strict orders from the boss ladies." Tony answered as he wandered after Peter. "You good with that?"

  
  


Peter gave a non-committal hum in answer. "That's good."

  
  


Leaning against the doorway to Peter's room, Tony quietly observed the distracted boy.

  
  


Peter had abandoned his shoes near the door and was searching his bag for his homework. The hair tie resting almost innocently on his left wrist, skin the slightest bit red, catching Tony's eye, and the man had to stifle the panic that instinctively rose to grip his heart. 

  
  


_Peter would tell me if he was getting urges again, right?_

  
  


The thought was dismissed with a shake of his head. He had to trust Peter, trust that he wouldn't let himself suffer in silence. 

  
  


"Any of that urgent?" Tony questioned with a nod at the homework that was steadily being piled next to Peter's bag.

  
  


"Nah."

  
  


Sighing internally, Tony pushed off the doorway and nodded his head in the general area of the living room. "C'mon, let's go rot our brains with whatever we can find on Netflix that we haven't already watched."

  
  
  


-

  
  
  


Two empty plates and 4 episodes of _A Series Of Unfortunate Events_ later, Tony glanced at Peter for what felt like the millionth time. He had just sat down after grabbing himself another glass of juice, Peter's still full glass sitting on the table.

  
  


Somehow the teen looked even more out of it than when he arrived. He was sitting curled into the corner of the couch, eyes on the TV but clearly not focused on what was playing, his head somewhere in the clouds.

  
  


_Okay, I'm getting you back, kid._

  
  


"Peter."

  
  


Messy curls tilted slightly towards him.

  
  


"You don’t seem like yourself tonight, Roo. What's going on?"

  
  


Peter shook his head when he felt himself come back slightly at Tony's question. "I'm fine."

  
  


Tony's heart _ached._

  
  


Waving a hand for FRIDAY to pause the TV, Tony turned on the couch to face his kid. He lifted a hand and cradled Peter's cheek.

  
  


"It's okay, you don't have to be fine all the time. I'm here."

  
  


Peter looked at Tony and the man caught a glimpse of the fear, sadness, and confusion swirling in whiskey eyes.

  
  


"I'm fine." Peter's voice cracked and against his will, tears started welling up in his eyes.

  
  


_No, he wanted to stay blank_

_This was too much, he was feeling too much._

  
  


Tony's heart was breaking. It was worse than having the reactor shoved in his chest. His child was in pain and he didn't know what to do.

  
  


"Peter, please. I am _here_. Talk to me, please." He begged and was suddenly cut off.

  
  


_Snap!_

  
  


The sound shot icy tendrils deep into Tony's core as Peter suddenly tensed up, his body coiled tight and his breath getting stuck in his chest.

  
  


He looked down to where his fingers had hooked back around the hair tie, readying to snap it again.

  
  


" _No_!" He whimpered, tears falling as his head dropped forward. "I didn't want to! I'm okay, I'm fine!"

  
  


Peter was startled by calloused hands gently lifting his head and wiping his tears.

  
  


"Peter, it's okay. You're not okay and that's alright." Tony's eyes shone with something Peter couldn't name.

  
  


A hiccuped sob spilled from the teenager. "But there's nothing wrong! I'm okay!"

  
  


"I shouldn't be like this, I should be over it and I shouldn't have snapped it!"

  
  


Tony only wiped his tears away again. "There doesn't have to be something wrong for you to feel. emotions don't work that way, kid."

  
  


Lifting Peter's chin, he looked him in the eye. "Maybe you shouldn't have snapped the hair tie, but I understand and I'm proud of you. You used it instead of the alternative and that shows how far you've come, bubba."

  
  


Peter tried to duck his head. He didn't deserve the love, pride, and forgiveness that was shining in Tony's eyes. "But I was weak." He whimpered.

  
  


"You are not, and never have been, weak. You are so strong and brave Peter." Tony said fiercely as he let the boy burrow into his arms. 

  
  


Peter didn't know what to say to that. He didn't know how to believe it. 

  
  


"I'm sorry." He murmured timidly.

  
  


Tony cradled him closer and pressed a kiss to the chocolate curls under his chin. "You have nothing to be sorry for but, it's okay.

  
  


"It's okay."

  
  
  
  



End file.
